ERIKA DAVIAN
Men's Dating + Intimacy Coach
You don't have to be rich, good-looking,
or experienced to
find love.
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely
to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
- Rumi
Why do I work with with men?
Because five years ago my partner (yep, that shiny-headed brown guy with the glasses) did not think a love and life like ours was possible.
He was approaching 40, and still hadn't been in a loving relationship that lasted more than a few months.
Although he wanted partnership and a family, he had zero "game" and no idea how to navigate the dating world to make that happen.
How many other guys out there would make
incredible partners, husbands, and fathers, but
just don't know how?
He nearly gave up all hope.
I am so glad he didn't.
I cannot imagine a better father, partner, and friend to share my life with.
Being in partnership with this man has been the most transformative, supportive, loving and fun relationship either of us have ever had.
I want to help other good men experience the same.
About Me
Hi! I'm Erika.
I am a Certified Life Coach, trained in Surrogate Partner Therapy, and hold an M.A. in Education. I have a knack for taking the most complicated, abstract topics and making them clear and simple- even when it comes to dating, love, and sexuality.
I’ve helped men learn the social, emotional, and physical skills needed for romantic relationships and I can help you too.
You don’t have to do this on your own.
This is heart-centered work and I really enjoy what I do. I love when I hear that our work together helped create a profound shift in someone's life.
Clients describe me as warm, non-judgmental, and very approachable, which often makes it a completely different experience from working with a doctor or therapist. My warmth is exactly what allows them to be able to hear me when some “tough love” is in order.
I've always got your back.
Who I've Helped
Late Bloomers
These men often feel like they have missed out on crucial experiences and are now way behind their peers.
Maybe they've felt rejected by every crush, have dated a bit but not been in a relationship, are on the autism spectrum, and/or are late virgins.
Workaholics
The men in this category have spent years focused on something other than love (work, education, saving money, etc.) and thought that when they were ready, they'd find it.
Now they want a relationship, but don't even know where to start.
Broken-Hearted
Some men have dated or had a relationship but still feel inexperienced.
For some, it's been a while, and are nervous about what it will be like to find someone new. Others have made attempts to date without success.
I'm ready to start living according
to my wants and needs.
I thought I would have to let others down in order to move forward with my life. Now I know that I can re-frame or almost mold my thoughts using an inner observer.
When I feel resentment, I can evaluate that and redirect it into gratitude and freedom.
—James
What is coaching?
Is coaching the same as therapy?
Nope, not even close.
Granted, there are some similarities– both involve talking back and forth with a professional who is focused on helping you– but they are different in a few key ways.
Working with a therapist is like going to physical therapy. They help you heal from past injuries and become functional again. Often the focus is on the past and integrating it into the present.
Working with a coach is like working with a personal trainer. I make sure you stay focused, keep momentum going, and take yourself further than you thought was possible. Coaching sometimes looks to the past, but often the focus is on the future, what you want, and how your actions in this moment can help you get there.
Doing it on your own is like getting a gym membership. Maybe it works for you, but for many people it’s hard to stay motivated, stick to habits, and keep focused. Reaching your goals will likely take longer than if you just worked with someone who could help.
Both therapists and coaches have a role. One is not better than another. They just may serve different purposes at different times.
You could work it out on your own, but often it's
the most costly, time intensive, and frustration-filled route of all.
Together, we'll get you to a place
where you can:
-
Get unstuck and take massive action towards the relationship you want.
-
Feel confident in any dating or sexual situation.
-
Become the man you will need to be in order to have the relationship you want.
-
Clarify what you want so you stop wasting energy, time, and money on women who aren’t right for you.
-
Process past heartbreaks so you can be open to new opportunities for love.
-
Change old habits so you can live a life you are proud to share with someone else.
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Make rejection hurt less, have your back when things are tough, and keep the forward momentum going.
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Overcome sexual dysfunction and enjoy physical intimacy with a woman you love.
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Date with less drama. Help you take clear steps to get a girlfriend you adore in less time, with more fun and less drama than doing it alone.
I'm not just stuck in my head anymore.
I'm taking action toward the life I want.
I was not satisfied with my life. I knew it could be different, but I didn't know how. My mind was in a constant loop. I was stuck.
Being able to talk to Erika, who is objective and compassionate at the same time, gave me a fresh look beyond the things I'd been telling myself in my head.
She didn't tell me what to do, but helped me look at what was actually true so I could see what I have control over and what I don't.
Working with her gave me a framework, accountability, and consistency to put me in a different mindset in order to see my life differently.
Now I can see how to move from A to B. It is understandable and achievable.
